"Entanglement of Depression" by Wendy Fedan, 1994
I happened upon this great article while browsing GoddessGuidebook.com. Clicked on a link that led to this particular article, titled, “75 Ways to Stay Unhappy Forever.”
When you look over the list (click here to view article), think two ways: One, check off all the things you are doing already or have done. Two, look at this list as a guide on what NOT to do, in order to be happy in life. Some of the points are surprising, but when you think about it, you realize, “Yes, this really isn’t helping me out of my sadness when I do this.”
Reading through the list of 75 ways to stay unhappy, I felt like I was reviewing a checklist of things I used to do that brought me into despair when I was a teenager. I only checked off 25 out of the 75 ways to stay miserable, but even that is enough, I suppose.
Since my teen bout of depression (took a couple years to truly overcome, I had trapped myself so badly), I have been on a mission to NEVER EVER go back to that state again.
I tend to write about a lot of happy, wonderful feelings of hope and light. Maybe some people who don’t know me would think it because I’m just a happy-go-lucky person who has never experienced pain… not true. I focus on the happy now, because that’s WHERE I WANT TO STAY. And I write it on my blog, because I want to SHARE THE HAPPY and life’s HOPE. I know we all struggle every day between the choice to stay in our hole or to get up and move on.
I thought I’d share this painting here (above) – seemed appropriate. It’s a piece I did back in college – an attempt at painting abstract expression. I chose to express the entanglement of depression, and what it looks like from inside the darkness. Hard to see the light sometimes, but thank God it’s always there, beckoning.
"Path to the Light" by Julia Watkins
One funny bit of symbolism… In order to photograph my painting for this post, I had to go down to the basement. I knew the painting was down there, but I couldn’t remember exactly where it was. Apparently it was up on the wall down there, but mostly covered up by shelves and piled-up storage. It took a while to get it off the wall without knocking over everything else that was covering it! I’m SO happy to say that this is a wonderful representation of where my own depression lies in my life right now. I keep myself so focused on the positive, it becomes harder and harder to find that state of depression.
My state of mind right now is much more like a painting I love by Julia Watkins. I’m attaching it to the right, here. For me it symbolizes the point at which the light takes over.
I think it’s time for me to paint something new!