I mean WOW.
Last week I underwent an extremely depressed state, and I was having trouble figuring out exactly what the problem was. It wasn’t hormones, I knew. I felt the source of my depression was a feeling of severe frustration. But what could I be frustrated about? Was it overwhelm with the kids homework after the Holidays? Maybe. I felt this sense of feeling STUCK or… no… CLOGGED. That was it. I felt CLOGGED. I tried to tell my husband about all the things I felt I was NOT getting done – I was feeling a sense of BACKUP – an overwhelmingly long list of things to do that I was just NOT getting done.
But why? Why couldn’t I get anything done?
I seemed to be doing well BEFORE the Holidays… but ever since, I have not gotten a single thing accomplished.
I have two retreats to plan for – one large event in May and another in September. Time is running out! I also have a wonderful lady I need to do caricatures for – why can’t I seem to get my act in gear to get them done? I have an animation to do for a friend as well which I am SO, SO excited about (top secret project for now), yet the progress has been sluggish to start. I’ve barely blogged at all this month, too, and another month has gone by without putting a newsletter together. And I STILL have barely touched Goddess Leonie’s “Incredible Year” Business Calendar and Planner which I REALLY wanted to work on this month to kick of this new year with a BANG! This year has begun more like a slimy slug. WHY??
I’ve been feeling like a terrible failure.
Then Sunday night my husband had a suggestion for me. “Let’s eat with the kids from now on, Wendy. I’d like to get more work done in the evenings.”
A wave of relief came over me. Ever since the Holidays, David and I have sunk into a sluggish routine where we eat and watch a couple hours of TV after the kids go to bed – It frees us up to have time alone together in front of the TV and savor our dinner. I’ve been enjoying this time of lazy entertainment. Even though we don’t have cable anymore, we’ve found a way to find entertainment by streaming shows through Netflix and YouTube, and bumming recordings off of friends. It’s felt fun… until recently… that’s when I started feeling depressed and CLOGGED UP. By the time we finish watching TV at night, it’s too late for me to start doing anything productive, so I end up just going to bed.
After only THREE NIGHTS without TV time, I have gone straight into getting things done! I’ve been in MAJOR productivity mode. I started by sending out the delightful “serendipity mailings” to my commenters from my last post. I became caught up with communication regarding planning the May Event, and last night I focused until 11:30pm on my September Artist’s Way Retreat – I am SO excited, because I had almost nothing planned, and now I almost have the whole thing concrete – just need to get the website together, which will only take another night of work. I even cleaned one of the bathrooms which was much needed! Tonight I spent time finally getting updated with my “Incredible Year” planner, and felt inspired to write this blog post.
AHHHHH… I’m feeling delightfully UNclogged now!
It is SO amazing what happens when you step away from the TV for a few days – especially when you are in “catch-up” mode.
Okay, now. I’m caught up with all the Dexter seasons, Walking Dead, and my zombie days are officially OVER.
Back to LIFE!!