Love is a DECISION – not just a feeling.

relationship difficulties: young couple having a fightI found this wonderful excerpt that has been passed around Facebook. I have no idea who the original author is. I would like to give credit, so if anyone knows, please add it to the comments.

The entire message is very long, so I took out this excerpt which spoke to me the strongest right now in my life:

“The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a ‘decision.’ Not just a feeling.”

I’ve reached that point in my marriage where the LOVE is harder to find. It gets buried underneath higher priorities like the children’s needs, financial junk, kids’ daily and weekly homework and other school projects, careers, trying to find space for myself, and household chores.

Where on earth is there time to tend to my marriage?

Well, as I’ve learned from the book “Creating Time,” there IS time in my life. It’s just spent on other things, and my husband is forgotten in the mix. Love ends up not being so easy anymore.

And it’s good to know that that’s OKAY.

The important thing is to recognize that our life is changing and it’s time to try stirring up that love again. Time and energy needs to be spent on something I never had to “work” on before. Love is supposed to just “happen,” right?

That’s why love becomes a decision – a choice. You can choose to resent the fact that it’s not easy anymore. You can choose to dislike the person your spouse has become throughout your many years of living life together. Or you can choose to open your heart to your spouse and try to see his/her inner child – the person you originally fell in love with before she/he became tainted by life and responsibilities. Choose to smile. Choose to lend a hug or a back scratch. Choose to listen, even when you feel you don’t have time.

Choose love.



6 thoughts on “Love is a DECISION – not just a feeling.

  1. Ah Wendy. You are so right. Having any relationship that is worth – anything takes time, energy, and love. I have been married 36 years will be 37 this fall. At times, I want to choke him – at other times I don’t know what I would do without him. But, it takes love, forgiveness, effort, energy and commitment on both parts to make it beautiful and keep it that way – Most of the time. We are living a human experience and we are of two different minds. So, it does take both of us to continue moving forward and loving enough to get through the rougher times. But, you also both have to respect the other and know that sometimes you just have to go with it. You need to make time for each other, family and for you each to have your own little space of time to regroup. This is a huge topic – but I’ll hush now. If you need to talk message me or call me! Love you girl!

    • REALLY appreciate your comment, Tina!!!! This is a period that can feel so LONELY. Choosing to reach out and share with others to lessen that loneliness through this time. Therapy is also helping (my first time going through therapy). Grateful for the love energy my friends have been sharing with me. And wearing lots of Rose Quartz as well 🙂

  2. Great collection of quotations, they’re wonderful and clearly make sense. I definitely agree to the headline, Love is not just a feeling but it’s merely a choice. Some people might have been confused about their feelings towards someone not realizing that it’s their own choice to fall. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of weighing what’s stronger, the heart or the mind.

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